Adventures in Photography

I’m dehydrated and suffering from a mild form of heat exhaustion. At least I think that’s what it is. I’ve had a headache for two days now. Not just a little headache, but one of those “Texas Sized” headaches that sit behind the eyes and make looking at the computer a near impossibility. Oh, and I almost got trampled by cows.
It all started on Saturday when my childhood pal and official RICH GUY Magazine photographer Mark L. Craighead gave me a call. “The moon will be sitting low along the horizon this evening” he jabbered in to the phone. I was a bit confused, what has this got to do with me? He explained that he needed to capture a shot of the moon so that he can keep it in the stock database at RICH GUY. He also knew that I was a survival junkie and couldn’t pass up on a chance to be like Survivorman Les Stroud. But unlike Survivorman we weren’t going to catch our own food or build our shelter. We’re way too lazy for that!

In a matter of hours we were standing at the edge of a steep decline into a valley of trees with our equipment strapped to our backs. I had 8L of water, tent, sleeping bag, burgers, buns and of course my cigars. Total weight, nearly 80lbs. Mark was carrying the same except he had camera equipment instead of cigars. Dusk was approaching so we needed to hurry.

We hiked down to the end of the tree line and decided to set up camp there, far away from any trees that could fall and high enough from the valley floor so that we aren’t washed away if there is some heavy rain.

Mark dug out a fire pit while I went and gathered some wood. I carried a stack of them that would last for hours, but as Survivorman says: “gather what you think is enough and then gather five times that.” So I went back for more. The fire was finally started around 9pm. The food was ready to eat at 10pm. After a nice hearty meal of meat I smoked a cigar by the fire. It was a great moment. The stars in the sky, bonfire and the sounds of the night reminded me of the cowboy ways of the past. It was a great and relaxing moment that could only be eclipsed if we each had our own dancing girls. Unfortunately none could be convinced to make the trek.


Mark went to his tent in order to wait for the moon to make it over the tree line, I went to my tent and tried to sleep. The next thing I knew there was a hint of daylight and a rumbling, then crashing and then from what seemed like inside my tent I heard the sounds of a dinosaur. MOOOOOOO!! Ok, it was a cow not a dinosaur!

A lone cow peeked through the woods, then another and another; finally I counted 30 cows, staring at me like I was an intruder on their land, which of course I was. There was tension in the air. It felt like a battle. The stronger cows formed a barrier against the younger cows. It’s always been my dream to put an entire cow on a rotisserie, I could have one of the smaller ones gutted and out of the woods within 3 hrs. Mark knew that too and without looking at me asked me to put the knife away.

A giant white bull, obviously their leader, walked between the herd, the cows parted to let him pass. I suddenly wondered if Karma was going to kick my ass today for eating all the steaks I’ve had in my life. Luckily the giant bull walked towards Mark, they exchanged words and after a few taps on the head the peace treaty was signed. Things were fine. The Bull ate from an apple tree near our camp and the rest of the cows followed. It was more of a relaxed environment. We all become friends for a while. I was amazed at the social structure that cows had. Clearly a leader needed to assure the herd of safety. There was even a shunned cow, that wasn’t liked by the herd. When she showed up the rest of the cows left. We decided to make breakfast and leave too.

On the way back, while hiking up the hill I decided to show mark how Edmund Hillary climbed Everest. Being overweight, out of shape and completely exhausted I let Mark carry my remaining 60lbs of equipment on top of his own equipment up the last 200 yards of the hill. It’s great to have a friend like Mark.

Thanks Mark, I’m sure Tenzing Norgay Sherpa would be proud.